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Время было послеобеденное, мы сидели в куриле, дымили папиросами. - Коль, расскажи анекдот!? - Я вам что, клоун рейтузный? Идите в жопу к бегемоту!!!
Коля – это наш мастер участка. Самый веселый мужик из всех, кого я встречал на своем жизненном пути. Он мог рассмешить любого, только своей непревзойденной мимикой. Ему бы в кинокомедии сниматься или на эстраде выступать, вместо Петросяна…
Однажды, у него с подоконника, местные бомжи спиздили продвинь, с только что налепленными им пельменями (он жил на первом этаже). Коля вызвал милицию и довел следователя до слез, заставляя того задокументировать каждый украденный у него пельмень. Дежурные опера покатывались от смеха, когда Коля описывал «автопортрет» очередного спизженного у него пельменя: - Седьмой пельмень был вот такой, с мой кулак. У него еще один край чуть провернулся вокруг своей оси… Погодите, я сейчас вам его нарисую…
И Коля рисовал корявый пельмень на протоколе допроса потерпевшего, не смотря на вялые протесты молодого, очкастого следователя…
- Коль, ну расскажи-и!? – Протяжно упрашивали мастера участка молодые рабочие, желающие поржать на халяву. Коле нравилось внимание, и он артачился только для порядка. - Про Колобка знаете? Колобок повесился! - Не, Коль, это не катит! Это не смешно.
Коля театрально выдержал паузу и обвел работяг веселым взглядом. - Хули не смешно!?! У него же шеи нет, он и проскочил сквозь петлю. Наебнулся об землю и закатился под корягу. А мимо Заяц бежал. Он этого Колобка и захавал.
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Народ в курилке дико заржал, представляя своим извращенным сознанием описанную мастером картину. - А дальше? - А хули дальше? В это время Медведь по лесу шел. Он лесником служил в этом лесу, а заодно и дружинником подрабатывал. И тут видит, в его малиннике такое блядство несусветное происходит! Он с разбегу волчине позорному и засветил пенчищу! Тут-то и началась обратная реакция. Лиса от волка отскочила, Заяц из лисы, из Зайца Колобок … Так вот, Колобок по инерции докатился до самой избушки, где его старик со старухой сковородкой по башке ебнули! Именно так лаваш у Тюркских народов и получился!. Отсюда мораль – Надо было блядь, в сачке рыболовном вешаться или в зашитой внизу баскетбольной корзине…
P.S. Записал за Колей по памяти, может чего и упустил, не взыщите…
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